239: Shameless Hope After an Affair [Affair-Proof] – with Shaun Williams

May 7, 2024

Shameless Hope After an Affair [Affair-Proof] – with Shaun Williams

All is not lost after an affair. You and your marriage can become more resilient and stronger from what could’ve destroyed you. Shame says, “You are bad. You are damaged.” But that is not true. You can truly rise above shame and have hope even after an affair. Shaun is back on the podcast today, and we’re discussing what we learned from our affairs. This conversation will help all who have been affected by the impact of infidelity in your relationship and will help you believe the journey toward healing and rebuilding trust is attainable.

In this episode, Shaun and I talk about some “hidden blessings” we’ve learned along the way and encourage you to do the same. As Maya Angelou says, “I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” Your marriage may have gone through infidelity, but infidelity does not have to be the end.

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A Culture of Cheating

Because we live in an oversexualized society, cheating or affairs can seem normal. Statistics report that 30- 50 percent of marriages will experience infidelity, and sadly, that is just those who are being honest about it. But infidelity in marriage is not normal. It’s not the way it was ever supposed to be. Shaun describes this outlook about his prior state of mind concerning his values (or lack thereof) concerning monogamy. It seems “everyone is doing it,” so why not? But everyone isn’t cheating. Many couples do value honesty, integrity, and self-control. Don’t fall into the culture trap of cheating.

Drawing from his own experience, Shaun shared insights into his journey of self-discovery and growth following his affairs. Now, he can help instill valuable wisdom that he imparts to his kids, equipping them to go against the cheating culture and navigate their relationships with empathy and maturity. Shaun’s commitment to learning from his mistakes and guiding the next generation underscores the transformative power of self-reflection, humility, and the capacity for positive change that arises from adversity.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

I can attest that though infidelity wrecked our marriage, it didn’t kill us. Actually, it made us stronger. I am more resilient as a person and a wife because of what I’ve been through. Shaun has developed integrity and better communication skills as a result of the fallout of our marriage. There are so many hidden treasures, if you will, that have emerged as a result of the affair. This should give you hope. After an affair, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You wonder if forgiveness and joy are possible again. They are.

I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone but if you’re going to go through it, you may as well grow through it. And you don’t have to go through it alone.

Infidelity Intensive

Throughout this “After Affair” series, we’ve discussed signs your spouse may be cheating, what to do after you learn about an affair, how to rebuild trust after an affair, and much more. The next step is to create a plan of restoration that will guide you on your path to healing. My infidelity intensive course helps individuals and couples to finally heal from the shame and pain of infidelity.

Learn more about Infidelity Intensive here.